“Prepare to defend Earth. Just don't expect the controls to defend you.”
There are games that simply work, and then there are games that clearly have a mad idea behind them and somehow manage to turn that idea into something genuinely entertaining.
Transcendental Earth Defence Legion© falls firmly into the latter camp.
At first glance, TEDL looks like the sort of bizarre space-age arcade shooter you'd discover lurking on a forgotten shareware disc from 1997. The retro-futuristic presentation, glowing green text and wonderfully eccentric aesthetic immediately give the game a personality of its own.
And then you start playing.
Beneath the apparently straightforward laser-blasting action lurks a surprisingly ambitious narrative. What begins as an extraterrestrial attack quickly develops into a wonderfully bonkers tale involving alternate realities, ancient cycles, artificial intelligence, quantum technology and an enemy that apparently exists somewhere beyond our ability to properly understand it.
The story is delivered with exactly the sort of gloriously serious techno-babble that makes you want to keep reading.
“66 million cycles ago…”
You just know you're in for a good time.
The development deserves particular credit here. This isn't simply a target-shooting game with a fancy backdrop — there's clearly a considerable amount of thought behind the world, its terminology and its strange mythology.
Let's be honest: TEDL isn't attempting to compete with the latest 3D accelerator card.
And thank goodness.
Its deliberately retro visual style is one of its biggest strengths. The black space backdrop, luminous green interface and chunky arcade presentation create a convincing old-school atmosphere. The little astronaut/suit graphic in particular looks like it escaped from the cover of a forgotten 90s sci-fi game.
It's not about technical horsepower. It's about style.
And TEDL has plenty of it.
At its core, the objective is beautifully simple: move, aim and FIRE.
But there's a surprisingly nice layer of depth hiding beneath that simplicity.
Your performance isn't merely judged on how many targets you hit. Misses are also calculated, meaning careless trigger-happy behaviour can come back to bite you when the final score is calculated.
That is a neat touch.
With 29 attacks, 26 hits and only 4 misses, for example, the game actually gives you something meaningful to analyse afterwards rather than simply shouting GAME OVER and sending you back to the start.
It's a small feature, but one that adds considerably more replay value than you'd expect.
Now for the bad news.
The controls are functional, but they're probably the area most in need of a little development polish.
On keyboard, the movement and firing system is straightforward enough, but the touch-screen controls feel somewhat clunky, particularly when you're trying to move and fire quickly.
The placement of the on-screen controls could also benefit from some refinement. A little more thought into button positioning and spacing would make the whole experience considerably smoother.
That said, the foundations are there — and importantly, the game remains playable and enjoyable despite these shortcomings.
Transcendental Earth Defence Legion© is a wonderfully eccentric little game that proves you don't need a £500 graphics card, 40GB installation or a Hollywood licence to create something with personality.
Its retro presentation is charming, its story is surprisingly deep, and the scoring system gives the simple shooting mechanics considerably more substance than first appearances suggest.
There are definitely some rough edges — particularly the touch controls — but this is exactly the sort of game where you can see the development effort and imagination behind it.
And frankly, any game that can go from “shoot the aliens” to “an unknowable extra-dimensional entity has been waiting 66 million cycles to destroy Earth's dominant lifeform” deserves some respect.
GRAPHICS: ★★★★☆
SOUND: ★★★☆☆
GAMEPLAY: ★★★★½
STORY: ★★★★★
CONTROLS: ★★★☆☆
REPLAY VALUE: ★★★★½
8.5 / 10
“A seriously entertaining blast from a future that never quite happened.”
ARG — Andrew Reviews Games — Issue 09/26
All scores are completely scientifically calculated and definitely not made up by Andrew. 😎